I woke up Sunday morning
With a pounding in me head
I went to raise the plowhorse
And I found that he was dead
I had to plow the forty
With a teardop in me eye
I went down the pub, got me a slug
As sure as gin is dry!

<chorus>
As sure as gin's dryyy
As sure as gin's dry
This drink's the drink I drink to think
Don't ever ask me why
Don't ask a silly question
And I won't tell you a lie
And sure the sun will climb the sky
As sure as gin is dry!

I couldn't find a table
I couldn't find a chair
I couldn't find the doorknob
So I got pissed standing there
I hollered for another one
And I heard the barkeep sigh
I didn't care, I didn't dare
As sure as gin is dry!

<chorus>

Don't give me no cream sherry
Don't give me no black stout
Just bring a shot of London dry
And me song comes rolling out
When you're feeling desperation
And it makes you want to cry
Just have a nip and bite your lip
As sure as gin is dry!

<chorus x 2>